carly ann
What makes me a stand out Coach is my own lived experience with an
anxious-avoidant attachment style. I have lived & breathed the attraction to
unavailable partners, fantasy relationships, obsessing, and losing myself in
love. Behind my agonising relationship struggles is a story of multiple
childhood traumas and heartache. From my first memory I was surrounded by
violence, substance abuse, chaos, and unpredictability. Up until the age of 30,
I was in an unconscious mission to fulfil my longing for attention, love, and to
be chosen. I chased, crushed, settled, lost myself, drank myself to oblivion,
embarrassed myself, lacked boundaries, and abandoned myself time and time again.
Immediate pain would show up in my anxious attachment when I experienced any
kind of rejection. I would become convinced I needed that person to survive.
Deep abandonment wounds would be wide open and as a result, I would be left with
a version of me that I couldn’t recognise. My avoidant attachment could be seen
in the way I went into myself, got stuck in moods, had an underlying feeling of
numbness and sadness, and avoided the inner work for many years. WAKE UP CALL My
wake up call came at 29. The end of a relationship (that I had outstayed due to
a deep fear of being alone), followed by the agony of dating unavailable guy
after unavailable guy. Relationships fuelled by jealousy and a fear of this
person realising who I truly am and leaving me. My own recovery has been a bumpy
road. Self-help, coaching, therapy, relapses, and then getting up and going
again. Through sharing my own journey it’s my hope that your recovery can be a
bit smoother. My healing has seen me meet and sustain a healthy relationship. I
see myself in this relationship sometimes like it is not me… those moments I’m
no longer triggered, my ability to respond over react, the way I consider my
things logically, and how I see myself almost choose the old path from time to
time. It is my life’s work to pass on, teach, & guide what I know to be true,
the methods I use, and give my support to people who are where I was then. So
that in this lifetime, we can experience the love we deserved from the
beginning. Because it was and is our birth given right to have our needs met, to
be loved, and to live a full & safe life.
